Why is it that most of us don’t like to be held accountable to the things we say we want?

I have a confession to make.  I don’t like to be held accountable to the things I give my word to or the things I say I am committed to.  Pretty hypocritical since I am an accountability coach. Here’s the thing though, what I’m avoiding by not being held to account is this feeling of getting in trouble.    And then what happens is I begin to feel bad and create a lot of drama around the whole thing, like avoiding calls, emails or text messages. Sometimes I’ll even convince myself that I don’t want the thing that I said I wanted because I don’t want to deal with how I have been acting  and very quickly, I begin to go down the rabbit hole. Can you relate?

This is all ridiculous right?  I mean I’m a forty something year old woman and I’m avoiding getting in trouble like a little kid.  It’s probably the same reason my clients will avoid me because they think they’re going to get in trouble.   And if I’m truthful about it all, like really, what trouble am I going to get in? I mean I’m the one that wants what I declare I want and then I don’t want to be held accountable for making that happen.  That’s pretty crazy right???

The truth of all of this is that the drama is just drama.  A story I have created about not being my word OR giving my word to something I don’t intend to do or really desire in the first place.   The reality is I just didn’t do what I said I was going to do or I did something that I said I wasn’t going to do. If I could just see it that way then all the drama and suffering could disappear.  

Another truth to get interested in is why I’m not doing what I said I was going to do in the first place.  If I really look, sometimes it’s because I don’t know how to say no. Sometimes it’s because I want to look good, like I have all my [email protected] together and I got this because I am superwoman! Sometimes I just get caught up in the excitement of it all and I’m not looking to see if I really have the space to create and complete something.    Inside all of this is that I’m just fooling myself. So in reality it really doesn’t have anything to do with the accountability, it’s really about how I see myself and how I perceive the project, tasks etc., that I give my word to.

Finally, the greatest truth is, is that if I didn’t have an accountability structure in place, half the things I’m responsible for wouldn’t get done.   So to all of my accountability coaches (I have many) I’m sorry for being a you-know-what and thank you for not giving up on me and continuing to hold me to account to vision I have for my life!  

If you want to live a BIG Life, one that you create and love, then an accountability buddy or coach is absolutely essential and I’m not just saying that because I’m an accountability coach.  Research actually shows that if you have someone who is holding you accountable you are more likely to succeed with whatever it is you want to create!

So stop being a bug-a-boo, listen to your coach or support team and do what you said you were going to do!

With Love,

Nina Ganguli