For me, as the end of 2018 approached I was starting to feel regret. Regret for not having caused everything that I had declared at the beginning of the year. Honestly, the holidays are a difficult time of year for me ever since my father passed away 5 years ago and my mom moved into an assisted living facility due to her Alzheimer’s disease. It’s a time of year that reminds me even more how alone I am. And at the beginning of 2018, I declared that I would end the year in a juicy and loving relationship with the love of my life. So, this holiday season I was reminded that I failed to accomplish that goal this year. At our last business meeting of 2018, I was emotional and could not see past the loneliness and regret to clearly see what I actually did accomplish in 2018. And I was unable to even think or dream about what I was going to declare I would create for 2019.
I now have clarity and a new plan for 2019. How did I do that? I had to get complete with 2018. You might be asking how do you get complete? Well, first I gave myself the space to feel my feelings. I stopped telling myself I was wrong to feel sad at the holidays. That meant that I allowed myself to shed a few tears when they came up, instead of pushing them down and telling myself that I don’t have anything to be upset about, that life could be worse. Once I did that, I could exhale and breathe. When I wasn’t trying to suppress my feelings, I could start to look at 2018 objectively. Then I looked at what I had declared I would cause in 2018 and made a list. I asked myself what stopped me from achieving those goals? And what it came down to was that I didn’t take enough consistent actions throughout the year, and what stopped me was my self-doubt. Then I made a list of the things that I did accomplish in 2018. Then the really important part of really completing 2018 was that I had a conversation with a trusted friend and shared with her what I didn’t accomplish and was able to just state the facts without making myself wrong for not having accomplished everything on my list. And then I shared what I did accomplish and we celebrated! She reminded me of where I started a few years ago and how I’m now fulfilling on what I said I would back then! It was an amazing conversation that allowed me to really stand proudly in my accomplishments! And from that place of peace and pride I am now free to allow myself to swing out and create big goals for 2019!
I encourage each of you to look back on 2018 and really get clear on what you didn’t accomplish and why and then let it go. Celebrate the things you did accomplish in 2018 and then let those go! Only then will you have a clean slate on which to create new goals for the New Year.