Do you ever find your momentum comes to a halt?  Your good habits/daily routine starts to fall apart and then you start to feel stressed, frustrated and filled with self-doubt?  I recently experienced that very thing. I was starting to fall down the rabbit hole of self-doubt where I was starting to believe that I wasn’t cut out to be an entrepreneur and that I should seriously look at getting a job again.  In that mental space I was no longer taking any effective actions, I was barely taking any actions to be quite honest. Netflix was becoming a default distraction and my living space was devolving into an out of control mess of disorganization!  My healthy eating and exercise habits had also slowly gone out of existence in my daily routine.

 

One day, I just said to myself: “Enough!  You need to get it together, or else you really will have to go get a job because your business partners will fire you!”  Yet, I wasn’t sure what had started this whole spiral in the first place. So, I started to pay attention to the conversation/voice inside my head.  What was the running commentary? What was playing on a loop over and over so much that it had become white noise in my head? Once I started to pay attention to my thoughts, I realized that I was ruminating on an incident that happened in my personal life.  I was feeling rejected, confused and embarrassed. And I hadn’t been completely honest when I had the opportunity to discuss what happened—I pretended that I was fine and everything was okay. Why? Because I typically don’t like to talk about my feelings especially to the person who hurt them!  These feelings of rejection and confusion were fueling my default story that I’m not good enough. When I saw that, I realized where the idea that I didn’t have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur was coming from, and that my living space was a physical representation of my internal state!  My condo looked like a jumbled, disorganized disaster zone!

 

I knew what I had to do.  Clean my condo right? Wrong!  Well, yes but that wasn’t the first thing that I needed to do.  The first thing I needed to do was to have a conversation with the person in my personal life and really come clean (pardon the pun!).  I resisted the conversation for a few days after I realized that was my first step. I reached out and got some coaching from someone I trusted and then I gave my word to have the conversation and that coach was holding me accountable!   I found my courage and embraced being vulnerable and had a conversation in which I was finally able to be honest and say what I needed to say and then listen to their side of the story and let it all go. After that conversation, I felt 1000 lbs lighter and the voice in my head was finally silent! I exhaled for the first time in what felt like forever!  The next day, I woke up happy and positive and when I looked at my condo I just started to organize and clean. It was a satisfying endeavour that took most of the day, and I was delighted to do it! Since I cleaned out my mind and my space my effectiveness and productivity returned. And the best thing happened: so did my creativity! I am now a firm believer in the adage that your environment is a reflection of your mental and emotional state.  And I no longer doubt how important it is to have those uncomfortable conversations where you speak your truth and are heard.

 

So, I want to leave you with this: The next time you find your motivation disappear and your self-doubt taking over, and/or your living space is out-of-control disorganized and messy take a moment and pay attention to the thoughts running through your mind on a loop.  Those thoughts will point you in the direction of something that is incomplete in some area of your life. Once you identify that area, take the actions necessary to get it complete. And once your mind is clear, go to work on clearing your space. Then you will experience a return of your mojo and creativity, and that lapse of confidence will be a thing of the past!

 

With love,

 

Alanna Carr