Life is never perfect and it’s clearly not designed to be that way, yet we get caught up in the need for perfection.  Perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect businesses, perfect everything. No wonder there are so many of us never satisfied with the way things are in our lives.  Always looking for ways to “fix” something wrong with us, with someone else, or a circumstance because it’s not perfect. OMG, I’m exhausted just I thinking about it! And, I have areas of my life that I could obsess over because they are not “perfect” nor do they look the way I think they should to confirm that they are good enough.  

What does perfect mean anyway?  By definition it means “having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be,” and “make (something) completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such a condition as possible.”  As I read this, it is clear that there are no restrictions in the definition. Meaning, if we look at the first part of the definition all it says is “required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics.” So, if I were to look at this in the area of weight, it is clear that I have the “required and desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics” in this area to be successful with my goals because I workout, eat clean, and have maintained a healthy weight.  However, the reality is that I don’t always “feel” or “look” like I have the “required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics” because I’ll eat like crap, I’ll feel lazy and not workout, I’ll be hard on myself because of the cellulite on my legs and the rolls on my stomach. It is clear in those moments that “perfect” is no longer a possibility because the “required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics” to achieve a specific body goal aren’t happening.  

  Now, let’s look at the second part of the definition:  “Or as close to such a condition as possible.”  When broken down, close means: “a short distance away or apart in space or time;” condition means: “the state of something, especially with regard to its appearance, quality, or working order;” and lastly, possible means: “able to be done; within the power or capacity of someone or something.”  Nowhere does it say that something must be a certain way in order for something to be “perfect.”  

There are no specifications for what things should look like, just necessary elements, qualities and characteristics to achieve a goal.  There is no “perfect” way of doing something, way of looking, or way of being. There is only taking the necessary actions to achieve something and ensuring you are taking those actions consistently.  Perfect comes down to us, what we want to achieve, and our perception of “perfect”. When you are working towards a goal and are not sure what you’re doing, or you’re stopped because you don’t think you have what it takes, ask yourself:  “Do I have the ‘required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics’ to achieve this goal?” If not, ask people what you need to do to achieve those goals; whether it’s a personal trainer, nutritionist, business coach, etc. Then take those actions, and if you fall off the horse, get back up and keep going.  When things aren’t working for you, reach out for assistance, don’t do it on your own. And, when you start looking at other people and comparing yourself STOP and step back. Remember they are dealing with their own perception of “perfect.”

What I want to leave you with is that “perfect” is just a word and throughout life it has been portrayed as the “ideal” to strive for in life.  However, what is ideal for one person is not ideal for another, and it takes away from the “perfect” you already are. Stop trying to fit in a specific box.  Be you. Embrace you. You are perfect just the way you are.

“Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.”    -Brene Brown


From my heart to yours,

Simone Vitellaro