To be vulnerable when your insides are screaming to not let them see your pain and suffering. Put on your steel armour, suck it up and wear a don’t mess with me face because I will eat you alive. This was my life before looking in the mirror and deciding enough was enough. I had to look deep into my soul, renew my mind and change my body image, especially my facial expressions. I had a lot of tears to cry as I searched for the true me and pick up the pieces of my life. I could not run nor sweep everything under the rug hoping it will go away.
Facing my life head on was the only way to get out from under weight that was drowning me. I began to seek help from professionals, friends, family and my faith. I began to realise that the only person who could save me from drowning was me… having a made up mind to want to change my circumstances. Once I came to that realization my passion to survive became my purpose for living.
My passion became my HOPE to be happy, to find freedom and pace. I began to change my limited beliefs and conquer me fears with the help of professionals. Some of my beliefs were I was not wanted, loved, undesirable, stupid, foolish and the ever present one that still persist is everything is my fault. Once I began to chip away at those faults made up notions I discovered myself to be a human being who deserved to be loved, which was restored through my faith.
Another step I took was to clearing out the cobweb of people who did not belong there in my environment. The term misery love’s company was pool the of people I found myself swimming with, those who could not string two positive sentences together. Complaining was the order and topic of the day. Once I heard Motivational speaker Jim Rohn say: “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”. I asked myself if that was the person I wanted continue to be or I am going to create a shift in my environment. I began to attracted those who encouraged me which took me to another level of my existence, these are my true friends who have became my family.
Once you find the passion, purpose and people life becomes a place to be lived out in the open for the world to see. It is place others can see you come a beautify butterfly set free to enjoy every moment you breathe.
Written by Fatima Gould